The Diagnosis - (At Birth)

So you've received the news. Your newborn does in fact possess the third 21st chromosome associating them with a disorder known as Trisomy 21 commonly referred to as Down Syndrome. . . What now?

Well first off let me start by saying, Congratulations!!

Take your time to mourn the neurotypical child you thought you would have. I believe it is only natural. But appreciate that very special baby sent to you from the Lord. "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him." Psalms 127:3

God makes no mistakes, and he chose you very specifically to raise and love that baby, diagnosis and all. His/her life will differ from that of a neurotypical child, but that is okay. In the great scheme of things there is not a single perfect human in this world we are all unique in our own way. This tiny human of yours that you just brought into this world is no different and deserves to be loved for exactly who he/she is.

Typically, the diagnosis of Trisomy 21 is followed by sadness, uncertainty, confusion especially finding out at birth. Wondering why you hadn't been told sooner. Sometimes wishing you could have had the pregnancy to plan and "be more prepared".

Let's bring it to reality, perhaps, it wasn't meant for you to know any sooner. You found out in God's timing.

This was us after I birth Harmoni in September of 2014.

The hospital I wanted to deliver at somehow knew I was having a child with Down Syndrome, but I didn't. Suspicious. I was quickly discharged and sent to another hospital under another care team. I birth our baby girl there at 3AM, and what do you know, shortly afterwards the doctors were entering the room as though they had bad news, to share with us their suspicions of her having down syndrome. They went on and on about how they believed she possessed several of the 12 physical characteristics that they look for in those with down syndrome.

But how, we asked? You've only just seen us for the first time and have no clue what the rest of our family looks like? How could you be so sure without an actual DNA test?

I did everything right. Went to every OBGYN appointment timely. I even took the blood test to rule out the possibility of Trisomy 21.

12 weeks later, we received the DNA results in the mail confirming her having three 21st chromosomes, officially being diagnosed with Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21).

I am unsure what happened. Whether my doctor had not even looked at the results, as I asked a last-minute question exiting her office inquiring on the results and she answered neglectfully not truly knowing. All factors I could not control.

Now she is here, God chose me to be her mother. I will now love and mother her to the very best of my ability no different than our first born.

In hindsight, as I reflected. Maybe, just maybe.... it wasn't meant for me/us to know before we got to hold her and experience her ourselves. To do all of the research we could and gain the world's perspective of what our child with down syndrome would be like, look like, act like, or what her challenges could be.

Individuals with Trisomy 21 may share some of the same features. Sometimes certain health conditions may be common amongst them. But they are all still unique and different from one another, they are their own individual unlike anyone else.

Please, I beg of you to cease your research and love on that baby, you were built for it, God chose you. Chances are you will benefit more from that bond/relationship then your baby. A built-in empathy builder. Boy our nation sure can use a lot of that! Your life will transform beautifully. Lean in.